Kyria

Tonight i talked to the most beautiful girl in the world! Believe it! She is my best friend :-D I do believe i am in love with her... i suppose that makes it public, not that it was a secret, i just can't hold it in any further. My God has truly blessed me with her, she draws me to Him, in my eyes she is like the centerpiece of His creation's beauty! She loves Him more than anything, her worship is true and I would give my world to worship Him beside her as long as I live. She has the voice of an angel! and I would love sing every song i sing in harmony with her. My heart breaks that I cannot spend every moment with her, but our separation gives our love more purity and faith that God will bring us together. Time has been taken and will not continue without us growing closer and closer. I often find myself dwelling on what i should do next to prepare for our future... so much that it probably hinders my life's progression. I will work on that, less thinking more acting. I get so excited planning though, but not seeing myself move forward brings me even more pain. To know that I'm moving closer to being able to support and take care of her would probably save me from some of the sadness I experience. I am a little over emotional. Ok, make that super emotional. I'm working on that. BLARG! I am crazy about her! I can never say enough to show her what she means to me, in fact i get so excited I can't even think straight enough to say anything but ":-D!!" I even cry sometimes... you can make fun of me, I don't care, I'm in love. I have said it in the past, to other girls, but this time is so increadibly different that I know it's ordained by God. When we first started talking I was going through what was the hardest time of my life. I was at college, I had turned my back on God, and got hooked on drugs... I ran out of my new medication and went into a terrible withdrawal, I could only get myself out of bed for about five hours out of the day, I was terribly depressed and broken, I wanted so bad to be free from what I had gotten into. I don't think she had any idea what was going on, I didn't want her to think badly about me. Anyway, I knew she was a pretty hardcore Christian, and everytime I talked to her I couldn't help but talk about God, even when I had given up on Him. But once I had reached the bottom, her words spoke straight to my heart, her faith was everything to her, she made me want God again. I poured my heart out to God and he gave me the strength to talk to my doctor and make the right decisions to get out of my mess. I got out of college and joined a ministry school so that I can get credentialed to be a pastor and serve God with my life. Many times when she and I talked I felt God lay something new on my heart. My relationship with God has never been stronger than it is now, and Jocelyn has been a huge influence in my life. She is so loving and kind it only reminds me of God and his love for me. I really would love to continue but I don't want to bore you with my exitement and I don't want to embarass her at all :-D!! Jocelyn, I love you.